You were angels of God's love.
Hurt is such a difficult thing... Please allow me to ramble for a moment... Please know I do not write for sympathy. Since hurt is something we all experience, I write in the hopes of helping others feel like they are not alone. I also write in hopes of bringing to recognition the truth that when we are hurting and feeling alone in that pain, Jesus has and continues to work mighty miracles in our lives to help us process that pain.
All of us have such different life experiences and are equipped with such different capabilities. Sometimes it's hard to understand why one thing would be so hard for one person when a similar situation might be quite easy for another to manage.
Satan is an expert at that individual hurt, and I thought I had pushed him away... but then Satan didn't want to give up so easily, so he continued to bring the pain to my remembrance. In my quiet moments, he rehashed in my mind all the reasons that I was hurt.
It is in those moments that I pray with the most vulnerability. I tell God that I'm angry or frustrated or that things aren't fair- I lay it all out there and don't hold anything back. The amazing thing is that HE responds with patience in my weaknesses, maintains HIS deep, endearing love, and delivers it all to my heart with overwhelming, perfect gentleness.
Even though I am imperfect and was unable to let go of pain as quickly as I wanted to, Jesus was patient and gave me little miracles tailored just to my needs to help me let go again... and again... and again.
As I was cleaning my room a few days ago, the heaviness of pain threatened to return to my heart and take my peace away. Right at that moment, my little girls came upstairs with their costumes on and performed an impromptu dance recital. Mariah made up words about love and blooming flowers and sang as both of them danced like angels to her music.
Everywhere I walked in my bedroom, they turned their performance to face me. They whispered, "Mommy is this way now." They didn't know I had been letting my mind return to negative thoughts. Jesus knew, and he sent some of my greatest little joys to help me push away the thoughts that would harm my spirit. Jesus's love is so sweet and tender to send little angels at just the right moment.
This morning, I prayed intensely to my Heavenly Father to be able to learn and see what HE wanted me to see. I looked up to see Jordan by my side presenting me with a bowl of fruit, and an Otterpop displayed ever so sweetly at the top. He said, "I wanted to give you ice cream. We didn't have any, so... here."
Fruit is Jordan's most favorite food, and he had been asking me for this Otterpop for the last two days. I wrapped my arms around Jordan and held him tight. His gift spoke the goodness, innocence, sacrifice, and simplicity of true love. Then, I pondered a moment more and realized that his gift was the answer to my prayer- it represented the fruit of the spirit! I looked up the scripture and understood the message that God wanted to speak to my heart.
Galations 5:22-23- "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, (23) Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law."
We all deserve to be loved for who we are- weaknesses and all. We ALL have our Savior, our Heavenly Father, and the Holy Ghost who love us unconditionally, and I believe THEY put angels among us to show us that unconditional love when we need it the most.
It's a powerful feeling to know that when satan is making a very personal attack, Jesus creates an even mightier, personal, recovery plan to heal us. We can ALWAYS call down the powers of Heaven. JESUS IS KING!!