Last night I needed a time to sort through those swirling thoughts. Late in the night, I went on a long drive and sat in my car for a while praying, crying, reading, and pondering. As I prayed, I asked God to humble me. I even cringed for a moment when I said those words. Then I said them more boldly knowing that God knows best how to humble us. Since that experience, I have felt the strong impression to make a few things very clear.
My Purpose for Writing this BlogIt is time for me to boldly speak about my purpose in writing my blog. My blog is a holy place for me. I never write a single word without first reading my scriptures and dropping to my knees in prayer.
My purpose is to praise God's hand in my daily life. I am forever grateful that so many others have chosen to praise God with me. My first intention was not to even share my words, but God told me to share it in a way that I could never deny it. I was so nervous the first time I shared my words that my whole arm that pushed the share button went numb. I feel that same nervousness every day that I write because I am truly writing the things that are close to my heart and that I feel God is speaking to me.
Why I Delete Comments
There is plenty of ugly talk in the world. There are plenty of places where I can find somebody who will criticize me for my beliefs. Throughout history, there have been plenty of people who argue and fight over doctrines and their interpretations over doctrine.
Many Religions Hold Pieces of Truth
What if I'm Wrong?
Why I Stand Strong in my Beliefs
Last night as I sat in my van, I prayed for humility. This morning I sat in my van again waiting for my children to finish their violin class. While I waited, I received notices on my cell phone that SEVERAL people had been writing on my blog throughout the night making false claims about my religion, sending me to hell with their words, and using profanity. Some of the commenters professed to be x-Mormons. This persecution made my heart sad.
Nobody was around. My other children were at home. I sat in my car and prayed out loud with the most sincerity I could muster. I prayed with a strong desire to know what the Lord was trying to teach me from this experience. I couldn't help but feel there was a direct correlation between my prayer and these commenters.
I finished my prayer, opened my scriptures, and a miracle unfolded within the scriptures!! I did not search my scriptures for these verses. These verses were in the very chapter I was scheduled to be reading anyway.
In The Book of Mormon in Helaman 3:33-35, I read:
"33) And in the fifty and first year of the reign of the judges there was peace also, save it were the pride which began to enter into the church- not into the church of God, but into the hearts of the people who professed to belong to the church of God.
34) And they were lifted up in pride, even to the persecution of many of their brethren. Now this was a great evil, which did cause the more humble part of the people to suffer great persecutions, and to wade through much affliction.
35)Nevertheless they did fast and pray oft, and did wax stronger and stronger in their humility, and firmer and firmer in the faith of Christ, unto the filling their soul with joy and consolation, yea even to the purifying and the sanctification of their hearts, which sanctification cometh because of their yielding their hearts unto God."
I am not saying that I am humble. I need more humility- that's why I was praying for it. What I am saying is that I find it enlightening that the moment I prayed for humility, others wrote persecuting words towards me about my faith. I also find it enlightening that after I mourned their harsh words for a moment and still chose to follow my faith, I became "firmer and firmer in the faith of Christ" ... just as the scripture states.
Those harsh words and the inspired scriptures were a miracle to me and an answer to my prayers for my desired humility and understanding.