Thursday, October 31, 2013

Why I Delete...

I am very open and honest about many of my heartaches and joys on my blog here.  I do not share ALL of the things that swirl around in my heart and mind.  Some things are too sacred, others are too private, and even others are too crazy. :-)

Last night I needed a time to sort through those swirling thoughts.  Late in the night, I went on a long drive and sat in my car for a while praying, crying, reading, and pondering.  As I prayed, I asked God to humble me.  I even cringed for a moment when I said those words.  Then I said them more boldly knowing that God knows best how to humble us.  Since that experience, I have felt the strong impression to make a few things very clear.

My Purpose for Writing this Blog

It is time for me to boldly speak about my purpose in writing my blog.  My blog is a holy place for me. I never write a single word without first reading my scriptures and dropping to my knees in prayer.

My purpose is to praise God's hand in my daily life.  I am forever grateful that so many others have chosen to praise God with me.  My first intention was not to even share my words, but God told me to share it in a way that I could never deny it.  I was so nervous the first time I shared my words that my whole arm that pushed the share button went numb.  I feel that same nervousness every day that I write because I am truly writing the things that are close to my heart and that I feel God is speaking to me.

Why I Delete Comments

You will never find me writing negative words about any other religion on my blog.  That is NOT what I stand for.  Ugly, degrading words is not the way God teaches.

There is plenty of ugly talk in the world.  There are plenty of places where I can find somebody who will criticize me for my beliefs.  Throughout history, there have been plenty of people who argue and fight over doctrines and their interpretations over doctrine.

When I delete a comment, it is not because I am afraid of the contents of the message.  It's because of the ugliness of the tone that I don't have the energy or time trying to rid from my life.  I'd rather just delete it.   I don't watch rated R movies, and I don't let my children watch rated R movies (or even PG13 yet for that matter).  I restrict that material from our home and our lives because it's one thing that I have the power  to rid from my life.  I have no need to let them watch the bad to decide for themselves.  Similarly with my blog; I have the power to rid that negativity from my life.  I love good, honest questions or concerns about my beliefs, and I'm happy to clarify any misunderstandings you may have about my beliefs.  You can even disagree.  However, the rudeness and negativity will not receive an answer from me any longer, and MANY have already been deleted.

Many Religions Hold Pieces of Truth

There are so many things I have yet to learn about God, and there are so many BEAUTIFUL religions both Christian and nonchristian which teach me how to be a better person.  I learn so much from each of them.  There are even atheists from whom I can learn great lessons of life.  One of my favorite classes at BYU was a World Religions  course. It was through that course that I learned to fully value the wonderful principles being taught in so many different religions across the world.

Now... I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I am a Christian.  Jesus Christ is my Savior.  I read the Bible and The Book of Mormon on a daily basis.  No committee, no group of people, no single person can define who is allowed into that realm of Christianity.  Only Christ knows the intentions of my heart and knows that I proclaim HIM as my Savior.

What if I'm Wrong?

This is a very important principle to me.  Maybe I am wrong.  Maybe I'm not.

I have researched for years my religion and many other religions.  I have received too many strong confirmations that my Savior is pleased about the direction I am taking in my life with my family.  Is there more I can learn?  Certainly, and I am in constant prayer about that.  Do I have doubts at times?  Certainly, but I return to the feelings I once received and embrace the answers and gospel principles which have changed my life.

I believe we need Jesus Christ to live in Heaven with HIM some day.  I also believe there are so many thousands of amazing people who do not know Christ as I do.  Some do not even know HIM at all... but God is the judge.  In my mind and in my realm of beliefs, I do not make any judgements about where they will be after this life.  I do not know their understanding of the truths they have received.  I do not know what they have experienced in their lives.  I am not the one to judge!

In Luke 23:34, Jesus prayed to his Father saying, "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do." 

In Helaman 3:27, "...the Lord is merciful unto all who will, in the sincerity of their hearts, call upon his holy name."  

Jesus Christ is so good to us that if in our deepest humility, we are truly striving to follow HIM and if we are truly striving to live our lives the best way we know how, he will provide a way for us to return to HIM.  

Why I Stand Strong in my Beliefs

 I have spent years studying and researching my beliefs.  I am writing with a clear knowledge and clear testimony of what I believe.

Last night as I sat in my van, I prayed for humility.  This morning I sat in my van again waiting for my children to finish their violin class.  While I waited, I received notices on my cell phone that SEVERAL people had been writing on my blog throughout the night making false claims about my religion, sending me to hell with their words, and using profanity.  Some of the commenters professed to be x-Mormons. This persecution made my heart sad.

Nobody was around.  My other children were at home.  I sat in my car and prayed out loud with the most sincerity I could muster.  I prayed with a strong desire to know what the Lord was trying to teach me from this experience.  I couldn't help but feel there was a direct correlation between my prayer and these commenters.

I finished my prayer, opened my scriptures, and a miracle unfolded within the scriptures!!  I did not search my scriptures for these verses.  These verses were in the very chapter I was scheduled to be reading anyway.

In The Book of Mormon in Helaman 3:33-35, I read:

"33) And in the fifty and first year of the reign of the judges there was peace also, save it were the pride which began to enter into the church- not into the church of God, but into the hearts of the people who professed to belong to the church of God.
34) And they were lifted up in pride, even to the persecution of many of their brethren.  Now this was a great evil, which did cause the more humble part of the people to suffer great persecutions, and to wade through much affliction.
35)Nevertheless they did fast and pray oft, and did wax stronger and stronger in their humility, and firmer and firmer in the faith of Christ, unto the filling their soul with joy and consolation, yea even to the purifying and the sanctification of their hearts, which sanctification cometh because of their yielding their hearts unto God."

I am not saying that I am humble.  I need more humility- that's why I was praying for it.  What I am saying is that I find it enlightening that the moment I prayed for humility, others wrote persecuting words towards me about my faith.   I also find it enlightening that after I mourned their harsh words for a moment and still chose to follow my faith, I became "firmer and firmer in the faith of Christ" ... just as the scripture states.

Those harsh words and the inspired scriptures were a miracle to me and an answer to my prayers for my desired humility and understanding.

To Wrap It Up...

My purpose for writing is to praise God, and I will delete your comments and give you another try if your words do not praise HIM.  God bless you... whatever religion you may be, and God bless you in your efforts to bring others to HIM.  I hope to hear from you soon for I am strengthened by your faith.