Our internet worked all morning yesterday as I was getting the children ready for the day. The moment I sat down to write on my blog about my experiences with scripture study, the internet went out of service. All day I kept returning to the computer, but it still wouldn't work. I got ready to take the boys to scouts in the evening, and the internet literally came back at the very the moment I walked out the door.... strange.
What is strange about it is that once I started this experiment to find the miracles in my life by reading the scriptures on a deeper level, I have felt a very strong, negative force trying to stop me from reading... and sharing that message. I have received messages from many of you saying that you too want to improve your scripture study.
Be warned!! Anything worthwhile will not be easy. I have found that if I understand that the adversary is the one causing the struggle, then I feel more empowered to push through that struggle, call upon the Powers of Heaven, and go forward with more vigor.
I think that upsets the adversary because there is GREAT power when we are building up our defenses and actively fighting for our families and our God.
This morning I felt that same negative force. I knelt down and prayed, but the negativity continued. I prayed again-even harder, pushed through the struggle, opened my scriptures anyway, and started to read...
The words "have mercy on me" were underlined in my scriptures.
I knelt down and prayed again. I acknowledged my many weaknesses before God and asked for HIS mercy. After that third prayer, I continued to read on, and my eyes went straight to the highlighted words, "Oh what joy, and what marvelous light I did behold." I felt that marvelous light fill my own soul. By acknowledging my weakness before God, I was essentially humbling myself enough to accept God's full power.
Because those words which were highlighted and underlined many years ago inspired me today. I got up to get a pen and decided to study more actively. With pen in hand, I was ready to write the messages that entered my mind. The inspiration flowed!
After my last post, one of my sweet readers shared a message from Elder Neal A. Maxwell. This particular quote had helped her along the way:
"Since faith in the timing of the Lord may be tried, let us learn to say not only, 'Thy will be done,' but patiently also, 'Thy timing be done.'"
After reading her message, I opened my scriptures. In my handwriting from years ago were the words, "Faith in God includes faith in HIS timing."
I have written here on my blog about my struggle with not having a home for the past two months. Even more frustrating is not knowing when our circumstance will change. Although I know there are thousands of things to be grateful for (including our health!), I have felt trapped and powerless in my circumstance to make a change in our financial situation. Abe has been applying daily for multiple jobs. Every time I considered getting a job to help with the finances, I have been stopped in the process knowing that it was not what the Lord would have me do for our family at this time in our lives.
"Ok... Ok... I get it... I need to be more patient," I said to myself. ...but HOW do I be patient?? I wanted to Do something. I'm a doer... not an inactive, patient bystander... it's just not in my nature to wait for things to happen.
As I complained about this dilemma to my Heavenly Father, I felt drawn to study the word diligent on a deeper level. I read every scripture on that word. The answer came to me that I am not being asked to be an inactive bystander. I am being asked to diligently and actively improve my obedience to God... then HE will take care of the rest... as I show patience in HIS timing.
Wow! I would not have received the twist on that answer without a deeper study of the scriptures. It feels empowering to be diligent. I am not powerless as I thought. It is amazing how empowering God's words can be when they are read with a humbled heart.
I commit to continue in diligence to devoting more time to the scriptures on a deeper level- no matter what comes my way. I invite you to join me. I know our lives will be enriched.
As I have been busy this week prepping for Conference with my four kiddos and also two friends, as well as having my parents in town for a brief visit (my dad had a work conference in the area), I haven't been able to read your wonderful words until tonight. I just caught up on your three most recent posts.
ReplyDeleteI just love you and your whole family. I'm so grateful for what you share here, and I hope that the time you take to write these experiences is a blessing to you, too!!! Thank you for being diligent, and for being humble enough to allow the Spirit to guide you to further diligence!
I have spent much of the past two years feeling powerless and impatient with the Lord's timing! I have found myself often proclaiming that faith is an action word and so I shouldn't have to sit around and wait for things to happen, all the while wondering what it is that I should be DOING!!! But I have recently also come to the conclusion that I need to study my scriptures more meaningfully. I have recently finished another reading of The Book of Mormon (I met the goal that I made per my daughter's challenge earlier this year--yay!), but I found myself hurrying to meet my deadline and not digging deep enough. I think that it has really probably been pretty rare in my life that I have really dug deep enough. I hope now to find ways to dig deeper and learn more. I hope to find greater strength, power, and guidance in so doing.
Today as I was taking notes during Conference, I wrote down (from Pres. Packer's talk) that if I want to find peace, I need to turn to the scriptures, and that they are a key to spiritual protection. I am thankful to read of your experiences with this already. And, as an aside, I super-duper wish that you were our next-door neighbors so that our families could associate and so that my kids could learn from yours! :) (My kids are awesome, but great associations never hurt anyone--they could learn a thing or two--or twenty--from your kids. :))
May the Lord continue to bless you and yours as you wait upon Him!
Thank you so much for taking the time to share your conviction to increase your scripture study as well. There is great strength in numbers!!
DeleteYou are thoughtful to ask if I too am feeling blessed. Yes!! I do feel very blessed for the opportunity to share my testimony on a daily basis. I don't know much, but I do know that I LOVE my Savior. I kneel down and pray before I write, and I try to write the words that Christ wants me to understand from my life experiences.
...and I LOVE your super-duper wish!! We could use some good neighborhood friends for our children right now... and for us. :-) I can feel of the strength and devotion with which you are running your home.
Thank you again for sharing your beautiful heart.