I remember when I first entered the MTC (Missionary Training Center), I wondered why it was so hard for me. I enjoyed it, but it was hard. Everybody else seemed to be so carefree. I even asked other missionaries if it was hard for them, and they said it wasn't. I thought I was doing something wrong, so I worked and prayed harder.
At the following devotional, Elder Jeffery R. Holland spoke to all of the missionaries. I can't find his talk written anywhere, but essentially he told us very firmly that our missions should be hard if we're working hard. He reminded us that the difficulty of the way is because the work we are doing is of such great value.
At the end of my two month time at the MTC, I was asked to speak at the farewell meeting. I bore my testimony to the hundreds of missionaries who would be entering the mission field... all across the world. I believe God allowed my experience to be hard, so I could search deeper for a stronger testimony and a stronger, more spiritual resolve in my missionary work.
I said a few weeks ago that I would be reporting on my increased scripture study. Those first few days after reading, the reward in my soul was so great and so immediate that I made a commitment to God in prayer to never go back to casual reading again. Then as the days continued on, the miracle of joy in my soul from my scripture study seemed harder to access. I had to ponder longer and deeper each time.
Two sweet sisters left comments yesterday that confirmed this concept in my mind:
*One quoted Elder Holland: "If for a while the harder you try, the harder it gets, take heart. So it has been with the best people who ever lived."
We are not alone if it gets HARDER when we try harder. I bear testimony that it is worth it.
I thought that with increased scripture study, I would be singing all the day long. Since I have increased my scripture study, I have felt a depressing force overwhelm me when I first wake up. I work very hard to push past those feelings. It's actually easier to wallow in them; but instead I struggle through them and fight them with prayer and scripture study. When I get to my scriptures, I read and reread my first few verses in the scriptures several times because it takes several tries to push away the other forces and accept the peace God is offering. After an intense struggle, I am able to live my life!!
*Back to the comments that were inspired to write on my blog.
The second sister wrote: "Doubt not!!! You know who is wanting you to!"
(I wish you could have heard my husband giving his "Amens" to that one.)
Just this morning in my scripture study, this concept was confirmed in The Book of Mormon in Alma 57:26. Previous to this verse, the scriptures tell of 2060 very young, stripling warriors who were taught by their mothers and fought under the direction of Helaman to be obedient and valiant. They fought in a battle in defense of their religion, their families, and their rights. They fought with and against grown men.
Here's the verse:
"And now, their preservation was astonishing to our whole army, yea that they should be spared while there was a thousand of our brethren who were slain. And we do justly ascribe it to the miraculous power of God, because of their exceeding faith in that which they had been taught to believe- that there was a just God, and whosoever did not DOUBT, that they should be preserved by his marvelous. power."
I am certain the battle was harder than these young warriors ever imagined. I am certain that as they approached their enemy, they appeared bigger than they expected. I am even more certain that they did not DOUBT their ability to conquer their enemy because they had complete faith in God. I am 100% certain that they saw that their increased, harder efforts were difficult but worth it- especially when they returned to their families having saved their families from the hands of their enemies.
Yes! It is worth it to push away the negativity... to try harder even if it means that for a time the adversary may try to stop us. When the adversary strikes harder, that just means we are moving in the right direction... a direction the adversary doesn't like... a direction that brings the greatest peace, joy, strength, and knowledge that can be found in no other way.
The difficulty of the way is a miracle to me that we are fighting a worthy battle for God. We are not always on the battlegrounds, but we are always on guard with scriptures in hand. The fact that we are fighting through the frustrations is a grand victory and a grand miracle in our lives. We are as the army of Helaman- those young, stripling warriors.
I hope that while reading my stories of daily miracles, others will see God's hand in their own beautiful lives...... Feel free to leave comments. I love to read them!! I have received feedback that many of your comments are not posting; I have set up an email just for you... mydailymiracles@gmail.com. Enjoy reading!! God loves you!!:):)
If it's one thing I've learned this past year, it's that Satan wants us SO badly. So badly, he can't stand it!!!! My husband is reaching his first year mark in our ward bishopric, and I won't hesitate to say it's been one of THE hardest years of our married life. Satan creeps in our lives any way he can. I totally sympatize with you how easy it is to get swallowed up in sad thoughts. That is very much me. Although I don't like the adversary ; ) your words about him lately have really hit home for me. He is real. We all fall. We all sin. We're not perfect. But we have a merciful Father who wants us back. Wants us doing our best. Wants our noses in those scriptures every day. I appreciate your influence in my daily life. I'm so grateful for positive influences!!!!
ReplyDeleteLet's make satan angry. ; )
Amen!! Thank you so very much for your message. Your position in life has blessed you with a perspective full of empathy and wisdom. I read your comment several times, and each time I felt more empowered. Thank you for sharing! Thank you for your service. God loves you!
DeleteRACHEL!!! Thank you for this post! I struggled in putting my thoughts together for my comment yesterday. I deleted and started over several times. I understand now how guided I was and the inspiration you were given for this phenomenal message. What an amazing thing to see this come full circle. You are so wonderful. Even though we have never met you hold a very special place in my heart. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for following the Spirit!! Sending you so much love!
DeleteI received this sweet video of the missionaries in the Spain MTC singing "We are as the Army of Heleman" last month. The power that I feel from these missionaries in doing the Lords work and having such faith is incredible. It has been my inspiration the last few weeks when life has been hard for me. I'm sure one of the reasons it's been inspirational is because my cute missionary is singing in the choir but really it's because it's a great reminder that we are "NOW the Army of Heleman". That line is so powerful to me. We have the strength and desire just like the Army of Heleman to fight the good fight. I hope you enjoy it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NjtedqZUsmQ&feature=youtu.be
ReplyDeleteThat was beautiful! Like you said, "We are NOW the Army of Helaman" is powerful!! I got chills when I heard them those words. My kids and I loved watching this video together. Thank you so much for sharing it! Which one is your cutie? :-) I would love to look for him/her the next time I watch it. Thank you so much again!!
DeleteHi Rachel, I'm so happy that you and your kids enjoyed the missionaries singing. My son is the one who keeps looking at the camera and adjusts his collar though the song. I'll sign in as him and you'll see his picture when I post this. ~Becky
ReplyDeleteI found him, and I love him! I hope you don't mind; I read some of his posts that were listed as public. I teared up watching him sing this time. I pictured you watching him and feeling so much joy in your heart for where he is and what he is doing. As I read his words, I could feel his strength and power as a young man trying so hard to please his mother and his Father in Heaven. Gosh- what a great young man. Thank you so much for sharing.
DeleteHi Rachel, He is a GREAT young man and I am happy to call him my son. You are more than welcome to read his blog. I am the only member of my family and so we are not only using this blog to share his missionary experiences with family, friends anyone else who would like to read it but mainly it's to teach the gospel to my family in a non threatening way. I was a bit nervous making it a public blog but I have found so much help in following other missionaries blogs that are from Spain that I want it to be helpful to others that I don't know too. Plus after following your blog I felt confident that people who follow other people's blogs that you don't know can't be too crazy cause I'm doing it myself :). Thanks for giving me the confidence to do this. You are such an inspiration. Have a great night.
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