A Concussion & Sympathy Pains

My 3 oldest boys wrestled in a tournament this weekend.  Jackson started wrestling in January, but this was Tyson and Jordan's very first wrestling match of their lives.

My boys are not part of the wrestling clubs because most of their tournaments are on Sundays; and since we don't wrestle on Sundays, the boys were at a huge disadvantage for not having that experience.  They soon discovered that the majority of wrestlers at the summer tournaments were quite intense.  They wrestle all year long and even traveled from other states to come to this tournament.

This tournament was one of the few that would fall on a Saturday, so my boys really wanted a chance to compete!  They had been wrestling each other, working out with high schoolers, and training with Abe and the middle school coach.  They felt ready and psyched!

Tyson is 9 years old but had to wrestle a 12 year old!  His opponent had been wrestling for 4 years!

Jordan is 7 years old but had to wrestled a 10 year old!  His opponent had been wrestling for 6 years!

At such young ages, 3 years creates a big gap in ability and strength.

Both Tyson and Jordan wrestled from deep within their guts... they wrestled with passion and with drive.  They fought with all they had, but they had no idea how tough their opponents would be.  Tyson almost pinned his opponent once, but poor Tyson and Jordan were pinned 4 out of their 5 matches.  Both boys finished their matches with tears in their eyes.

These two boys took some time alone to ponder their defeats and returned begging for another chance.   Their loss was dramatic, but their drive to keep trying had not left them.

Jackson had the same drive; he also wrestled a kid older and more experienced than he was.

Jackson stepped onto the mat with confidence but faced a competitor like he had never seen before.  Jackson's opponent picked him up and threw him down on his head!  The referee looked extremely concerned at Jackson and asked him if he was ok.  Jackson lay there for a moment and then nodded his head.  Jackson rarely cries from pain; but with tears in his eyes, my brave little boy walked slowly to the middle of the mat to take more of a beating from his opponent.

Within a few seconds, the boy twisted Jackson's body and contorted it in such a way that his legs were over his head, and it looked as if Jackson's neck would snap.  He was pinned.

My heart broke for him, and Jackson came to me looking a bit dazed...

He said when the boy threw him down, he saw stars and blacked out for a few seconds.  He was still dizzy and nauseated, and only wanted to lie down and rest.  These were all clear signs for a mild concussion!

I prayed for my little Jackson while we waited for the medic to come.  At the same time that the medic performed tests on Jackson, my own head began to throb, and I felt more and more dizzy.  I felt like everything was closing in on me!!

I pushed my pains away and tried to only focus on Jackson.  The medic advised Jackson not to wrestle the rest of his matches.  He was definitely done for the day.

Abe drove us home; it was only an hour away.  I sat in the car and gave myself a deep neck rub.  I was trying to get my head ache to go away.  I couldn't believe my precious son was enduring a mild concussion, and I could hardly function because of my own head pain!  I ate lots of food and drank lots of water trying to fix what was happening to me.  Nothing helped.

After a few minutes on the road, I couldn't last any longer, I slumped into a deep sleep in the van.  I don't even know the last time I fell asleep in the van when it wasn't on a long trip across the country!  When we pulled in our driveway, Jackson was the only one who wasn't asleep!  How could that be?  How could he be doing so well... even better than the rest of us?

Once in the house, Abe placed his hands on Jackson's head and administered a sacred prayer called a priesthood blessing for Jackson's well-being.  I felt peace and gratitude knowing that God was with my husband and my little boy.

Jackson seemed to be functioning fairly well, so we sent  him to bed; I promised to check on him through the night.  We kissed all the children goodnight, and I wondered why my head was still throbbing so intensely.

I finally realized what was happening to me.  It wasn't my lack of food or sleep... I was feeling pain for Jackson.   Does that sound strange?  It might to someone who has never experienced such a thing, but it was real!

I believe God gave me a gift to be able to feel emotions very, very deeply.  I had felt sympathy pains before, but I couldn't believe how strong they came this time.

With the ability to feel deeply, comes a responsibility to learn how to release those feelings and pains to our Master of Compassion, Jesus Christ.

In my pondering, my eyes and my heart opened to the powerful, almighty ability of our God and Savior to feel everyone's pains!!  It's real!!  Our Savior really did and does love us so immensely, deeply, and powerfully that HE knows each of our pains... very, very personally.  HE is waiting for us to release those pains to HIM... whether they be pains from heartache and sadness or pains from sin... HE FEELS IT!!  In the Garden of Gethsemane, HIS taking of pain on our behalf was greater than anything I could ever imagine.

What a miracle to me to be given the gift of feeling the physical pains of my son.  What a miracle to me to have the priesthood power of healing dwell within the walls of our home.  What a miracle to me to have children who do not lose their drive to fight even when they're beaten down.  ...and what a miracle to all of us to have a Savior who loves us, hears us, and understands every bit of us so completely and so perfectly.  I love my Savior, Jesus Christ with all my heart.

Journey to Africa

My sweet companion from my mission in Bolivia introduced me to this beautiful video about the miracles taking place in Africa.

As I watched this 5 minute video, I felt prompted to write the things of my heart... of how I reached Africa 12 years ago.  Not too many promptings have been as strong and definitive as the one that led me there.

When I filled out my application to serve as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I made a strong request to serve in Africa.  I did, however, make it clear that I would serve with all my heart wherever the Lord wanted me to go.

I did not receive my LDS mission call to Africa; I was called to Bolivia.  Through many spiritual experiences, I knew that Bolivia was where I was supposed to be, and my heart is forever connected to my beautiful Bolivian brothers and sisters.

Only a few weeks after returning from my mission, I started back to school at BYU in Provo, UT in June.  In the fall, I had a class where I submitted stories for the news station.  My assignment was to cover the city of Springville.

Springville is a small, quiet town, so I had to get very creative to find newsworthy stories.  One day, after much thought, I had an idea to cover a story on the history of a controversial building at the base of a mountain in that area.  I parked my car a few miles away from the building with the plan to knock on a random door to interview a local resident.  It was kind of scary to knock on a stranger's door, so I decided to say a prayer before I chose the first house.

After my prayer, I started my car and began to drive very, very slowly.  I distinctly remember passing a house and putting on my break as if to turn into their driveway, but the spirit said, "No.  Not this one- keep going."  ...so I continued driving.  After I passed a couple more houses, I felt the Spirit tell me to stop.   I felt the prompting very clearly, so I stopped.

I slowly walked up to the door.  As I knocked,  I all of a sudden doubted myself and felt very awkward.  A woman answered, and I stammered over my words a bit trying to explain my idea for a news story.  I was genuinely surprised when this sweet woman actually let me in!  I walked through her front door and immediately noticed a whole display of beautiful, African statues.  I spoke to her for a few minutes about the "controversial building," but I couldn't stop thinking about the statues.  Finally, I had to ask her about them.

She was more than happy to tell me about her humanitarian-aid efforts to Africa through a group called "Reach the Children."  At the time, she and her husband were the presidents, and their committee had been praying to find a videographer to document their work.  Then she paused and gave me a very interesting look.  She said, "You don't do video work, do you?"

I quickly and excitedly said, "YES!  Of course I do!  That IS what I do!  My professional video equipment is in the car right now!!"

Within the next few days it was decided and finalized!  In just a few short months, I would be serving in Africa for 3 whole weeks!!  "Reach the Children" would be paying my way, and I would be producing a video for them in return.

It was such a surreal feeling... Was I really going?  Was this amazing dream really coming true?

About a month after meeting this wonderful woman, my wonderful boyfriend proposed to me (who is now my husband.)  :-)

Abe was also my dream come true, and I didn't want to prolong my marriage to him one bit.  Our wedding date was scheduled just 10 days after my projected arrival home from Africa.  As we furthered our wedding plans, I began to feel like I was getting in over my head.  I thought I might be too stressed trying to coordinate getting married and going to Africa within a week and a half of each other.

My stomach turned knots as I called this woman and told her I would not be able to go to Africa, but that another amazingly, talented student would gladly take my place and produce an even better video than I could.

She would not have it.  She very firmly said, "I'm sorry.  We don't want anyone else.  YOU are the one who is supposed to go to Africa... YOU HAVE TO GO!"

I was shocked by her response.  I didn't see myself as being essential to the success of any project.  At the same time, I knew she was right... I needed to be in Africa.

I am forever grateful that this dear woman recognized the answer to her prayer and wouldn't back down when my fears tried to overpower me.  I can't even imagine the regret I would have felt for the rest of my life had I not partaken of the amazing miracle that God placed so flawlessly in my path.

Someday soon I will write about the miracles that I experienced while there, but tonight I feel inspired to write about how strongly the Holy Ghost directed me to the right people at just the right time.

Both this woman and I felt God's hand in our meeting, and I am strengthened in remembering that there are powerful, uplifting, and amazing experiences awaiting all of us if we maintain the courage to move forward when God calls.

Nothing got in the way that God couldn't fix because it wasn't just my dream... it was HIS plan and HIS dream too.

God knew how Africa and her people would change me.  Among many other lessons, Africa enriched my perspective to better teach my children about this beautiful journey of life.

Power of Prayer!!

Last week, we received news that our very good friend was diagnosed with a cancerous tumor in his pancreas and kidney.  He has only been married a couple of years and is a father to a precious baby boy.  Our hearts ached with theirs.

Such devastating news opened our eyes to how suddenly things can change for any of us.  Abe told him we would be praying for him; and in good humor said, "Let me warn you though:  When the kids pray for you, they're serious about praying.  They'll pray for you before we eat, in the morning, and at night... they're still praying for a lady who died three years ago!  They do a GOOD job at praying man."

As Abe promised, we have been praying several times a day for the past week for our dear friend.

Today, we received a text from our friend saying that all is well!  THERE IS NO CANCER!"  He then wrote to Abe, "Thanks for the prayers.  I've got a strong testimony of prayer even though I'm inactive."

His term "inactive" refers to the fact that he is not currently attending church.  I am grateful this friend of ours knows of God's love for him no matter where he is on his path to HIM.  God loves us profoundly and wants us to know of that abundant love.

ALL is in the Lord's timing, and we will continue to pray for our friend... maybe for the next three years! :-)

Clean and Orderly

Yesterday afternoon I couldn't stand it any longer...

I HAD to deep clean the kids' rooms.  Oh- my- goodness.  I honestly thought they had been putting things away properly when I sent them to clean their rooms!  All kinds of things were shoved in corners and in the wrong drawers.  Ugh...

I was pretty patient most of the time, but when I found one of Jayden's dirty, wet diapers in one of the older boys' drawers, I had to give my lecture about the importance and prudence of doing things right the first time.  Abe joined in on the lecture, and our clean-up session quickly became our  Monday night "Family Home Evening" lesson/activity.

Our home is never spotless, but it is usually pretty clean.  I take a box or two of old clothes or toys to Goodwill several times a year.  I do, however, have a hard time giving away things of sentimental value... and things that others have graciously sacrificed to give to us.

As I went through the children's clothes last night, I realized they have WAY too many clothes.  I never had clothes that cute growing up, so it is hard for me to get rid of the kids' clothes... in case they "need" them.  As I sorted, I pictured so many other little children benefitting from the nice clothes, and I felt the Spirit strongly encourage me to donate more of the cute clothes than I had originally planned.

We were able to gather a MOUNTAIN of clothes to donate to charity... my next project is to sort through the clothes that are being passed down to younger siblings!!

As a family, we organized until late into the night.  We all breathed a big sigh of relief as we looked around at the tidy closets and dressers.  We gathered for family night prayer, and Abe offered the prayer.  I felt the Spirit really strong again as he asked that the children would recognize the importance of cleanliness.  He also asked that the Spirit be able to dwell more in our home because of that cleanliness.

We sent the children to bed and did a little work on the computer.  When Abe and I went upstairs to our bedroom, we discovered some letters that had been delivered to our bedside mailboxes! :-)

A couple of years ago, Tyson started a tradition of writing letters and secretly delivering them to our bedsides- everybody else followed suit and wrote letters to each other.  Nobody had taken the time to write any letters to each other for the past several months, so Abe and I were surprised to find these sweet notes after such an intense and tiring organizing and cleaning session.

As I looked at the letters, a thought came to me... because of the cleanliness, their love and the Spirit was stronger in their hearts- just as Abe had requested in our family prayer.  

Each of their letters gave us GREAT joy.

I am the caped hero crawling on the burning building to save the people from the menacing giant.  

Abe ran such a mighty touchdown that he left a trail of football players all down the field!

Jordan's letter was "anonymous"so he addressed it to Brother and Sister Mills... "From:  mail"  Abe and I also got a big laugh looking at the man(Daddy) with the big hair singing, "Afro Power."

...and sweet Mariah woke up this morning with a desire to leave a note in our mailbox as well.  It's a drawing of her, Juliana, and Jayden playing happily together.  

I learned 2 things from this deep-cleaning experience:

1)  God gives us wonderful things.  We don't have to give up all that we have- there are things that we need, things that we're using and saving for good use, and some things that truly have sentimental value, but I believe that I have been guilty of hoarding some "things" in an effort to show gratitude to God for giving them to me.  I didn't want to ever seem ungrateful by getting rid of them.  I believe that in being good stewards of money and other "things," we are actually showing more gratitude to God by wisely giving to others in need.

As I write this, I am realizing that I should take another clean sweep through my things and reassess if there is more to donate- I'm working on "letting go."  It's a process!! :-)

2)  When our home is not so cluttered, the Spirit can work in our home much more freely.  I saw that first-hand when precious letters showed up at my bedside simply because their hearts felt happy!!

In comparing our homes to our sacred temples, Elder Gary E. Stevenson shared this experience in  the April, 2009 General Conference:

"Recently, in a stake conference, all present were invited by the visiting authority, Elder Glen Jenson, an Area Seventy, to take a virtual tour of their homes using their spiritual eyes. I would like to invite each of you to do this also. Wherever your home may be and whatever its configuration, the application of eternal gospel principles within its walls is universal. Let’s begin. Imagine that you are opening your front door and walking inside your home. What do you see, and how do you feel? Is it a place of love, peace, and refuge from the world, as is the temple? Is it clean and orderly? As you walk through the rooms of your home, do you see uplifting images which include appropriate pictures of the temple and the Savior? Is your bedroom or sleeping area a place for personal prayer? Is your gathering area or kitchen a place where food is prepared and enjoyed together, allowing uplifting conversation and family time? Are scriptures found in a room where the family can study, pray, and learn together? Can you find your personal gospel study space? Does the music you hear or the entertainment you see, online or otherwise, offend the Spirit? Is the conversation uplifting and without contention? That concludes our tour. Perhaps you, as I, found a few spots that need some “home improvement”—hopefully not an 'extreme home makeover.'”

I believe this principle to be true... our homes should be like temples.  That is the goal I hope to achieve... VERY SOON! :-)

Tyson's Miracle of Testimony & Fasting

In Tyson's Words...

"On fast Sunday my little brother asked me if I was going to bear my testimony.  I told him no.  Then I saw two of my brothers and one of my sisters go up.  I thought I should go up.

When I bore my testimony, I felt the spirit.  I knew I was doing the right thing.      

Before church I had been starving.  I was really thirsty from fasting.

After I bore my testimony I felt warm inside.  I was shaking from the Spirit, and I wasn't even starving anymore.

I was really happy!  I know Jesus loves us and cares for us.  I am grateful for the Holy Ghost."

I Didn't Obey... But I WILL!!

A couple of nights ago, I was on my way upstairs from the basement.  The thought came very clear and very strong, "You should pick up that pile of books in case water leaks in the basement."

Water had only leaked into our basement one time last winter when our furnace went out.  I considered moving the books for a moment.  I looked at them and then decided that if I moved those books, I would feel obligated to also move all the other things that could potentially be damaged if water leaked into the basement.  Feeling worn out, I decided not to move anything.

The impression and my counter-thoughts all happened so quickly that Abe didn't even know all that had come through my mind, and he was right behind me!

The next morning, Mariah went to the basement and shouted upstairs, "Was there a flood or something?"

"OH NO!!!"  I thought.  "I didn't listen!!"

I ran downstairs and found a pool of water ONLY where the pile of books were sitting.

Because a small pipe had been moved, water leaked out of the heater and streamed right over to the pile of books that I was prompted to move.

I am sad for the slightly damaged books, but I am even more grateful for the knowledge that the Holy Ghost guides us on even the smallest of details.  This experience renewed my confidence to be able to obey those simple impressions whenever they come.  When something more serious is at stake, I will be ready to listen and obey without hesitation because I KNOW that God's hand is guiding us throughout our daily lives.

Celebrating and Living Freely

I love our country with all my heart!!

Yesterday was a beautiful day of celebration!!  We attended a wonderful parade.  Most of us stood and applauded as a float passed by honoring a fallen soldier.  I pondered on the courage of these strong veterans who have kept our country a safe place so that we may continue to celebrate and live so freely.

After the parade, we went to Taco Bell for our lunch.  The lady talking on the other side of the microphone at the drive-thru was extra friendly and patient.  When we approached the window, I said, "You have such a lovely voice!!"

She could see we had a van full of children and that we had just ordered a TON of food, so she asked how many boys and girls we had.  We reported our 4 boys and 2 girls.  Moments later, this lovely woman returned to the window with green slushies for the boys and pink ones for the girls... for free!  The children shouted their gratitude out the window.  She returned with a big "Happy 4th of July!"  Again... I felt so grateful to be able to celebrate and live so freely.

We returned home to quickly get ready to swim and play tennis at the nearby beach.  I suggested that we go on our bikes instead of driving there.  It would take 45 minutes to bike there but only 5 minutes to drive.  My wonderful husband admitted he would much rather drive to the beach, but the kids and I wanted to bike there.  He obliged and tuned up all the bikes for our 10 mile bike ride (including the return trip).

I didn't say this out loud, but my greatest hope in taking this bike ride was to teach the children that they were able to bike just about anywhere in town.  I wanted them to know they were strong and capable.  

After a full day of swimming and playing tennis, we started on our way home.  I was feeling grateful again for our country- where we can bike for miles through the streets after spending a day celebrating so fully and freely.

Tyson and I biked alongside each other for a while.  He sweetly said, "Mommy, thank you so much for taking us on this bike ride.  Do you know what?  We can bike anywhere!!  Lets start riding our bikes places instead of driving!  We can even ride to Walmart to go shopping!"  I explained that there might be some logistical issues with a Walmart shopping trip on our bikes, but we could bike there if we just had something small to pick up.

I couldn't believe that Tyson was saying almost the exact thing that I was HOPING they would gain from this bicycle trip.

I had a desire to teach a principle.  It wasn't the easier route to teach this principle, and I'm so grateful that God allowed me to hear that the lesson I desired to be taught was the lesson learned.  God is so wonderful that HE taught many other amazing lessons to all of us along the way because that is just how powerful and mighty HE is.

I returned with a heart full of gratitude for our country which was created under God's direction and inspiration. GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!