Saturday, March 21, 2015

I am a New Creation

One of my readers from my blog reached out to me during my months of silence while I wasn't writing. She asked if I would like to do a Bible study program with her.

She didn't know why I wasn't writing in my blog, but she continued to share her scriptures and testimonies of Jesus. I gave what I thought were "very valid reasons" for not responding. I thought I was just too busy. Finally, I had a day to respond to her emails. I sat at my computer and tried, but then I cried and walked away. I tried again and turned away again.

I realized that I couldn't write because my heart hurt too much… I hurt because of choices of others, but I was allowing myself to slip away from my closeness to my Savior. I felt myself slipping away from who I was. I was  subconsciously pushing away the small acts that would bring me the greatest healing. I wasn't opening my heart...

I still read my scriptures everyday and prayed everyday, and that pulled me through the dark hours. However, my heart was boarded up pretty tight.

I never lost my testimony, I was just hurting too deeply and wasn't ready for God's healing  yet… but her testimonies of Jesus kept me on the edge of accepting HIS healing… until I was ready to fully embrace Jesus' healing love into my heart. Through that time, I greatly appreciated, not only her nonjudgmental way of reaching out, but also her efforts to share her testimony regularly. 

(Actually there were several of you who reached out with tremendous love at truly divinely appointed times. I will be writing about that miracle next week.)

She and I continue our Bible study, and this week she shared something beautiful… We were reading in John chapter 2 when Jesus turned the water into wine. She pointed out that it was a miracle of creation. These are just a portion of her words:

"How I apply this to my life is to look at myself as a new creation since anyone who is united with the Anointed One, is a new creation. My old life is gone and a new life began when I believed in HIM."

She also quoted 2 Corinthians 5:17

17 "Therefore if any man be in Christhe is a new creature:old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new."

All of a sudden it hit me. I had been looking at my soul as a stitched up, ripped piece of fabric. I had been accepting my new self as something uglier but stronger. However, God was actually creating me into a new, stronger, more beautiful peace of fabric.

I pondered greatly about myself as a new creation. I went to our temple in Orlando yesterday and felt that newness in full force. God was restoring all the love, forgiveness, and peace I once had when I was fully embracing HIM… when I was "in Christ."  I had never let go of Christ, but I hadn't been fully embracing ALL of CHRIST.

We came home after dark last night, so we went straight to bed.

This morning, I discovered that some of the seeds we had planted only a few days ago were beginning to sprout!! I watched as each of the children walked outside and excitedly exclaimed their joy over the same discovery. 

There is something so special about seeing the green leaves pushing their way through the dark dirt. 

The creation of the garden was beautiful to all of us, and the newness of it filled my soul once again… 

I sat beside my little garden and read my scriptures. I happened to read in Matthew where Jesus speaks of the seeds that are planted in good soil. I felt the Spirit burning within my soul. I knew I was planted in good soil because of the teachings of Jesus Christ that my parents gave to me. I knew my children were being planted in good soil as well, and I thanked God for the creation of the new, little seeds sprouting right beside me representing that goodness. The symbolism of it touched me deeply. 

I thanked God for this friend who reminded me that I am a new Creation. I thanked God for the temple and for the newness I felt within those doors. I thanked God for HIS almighty power to CREATE MIRACLES. I am grateful HE can create me into someone greater in HIM.