Thursday, March 28, 2013

"Mediocrity Will Never Do"

I am writing this morning instead of last night because FEAR completely disabled me.  Fear of what?  I couldn't identify my emotions right away... all I knew was that I felt empty.  I spent a wonderful weekend deciding I would reach higher, elevate my goals, do something about my greatest desires and dreams, and live for them.

I am a mother, and I love every second of my life as a mother.  That's why I home-school my children!  I have a passion for them and their future.  I believe that in my motherhood, I can use my talents and gifts to inspire my children to reach their highest goals.  As I write, I watch them have a desire to write.  As I serve, I watch them have a desire to serve.  As I push myself physically in sports, I watch them push themselves physically in sports; and as I teach my passion for Christ, they too display a passion for Christ.

I am a mother, and as a mother, I have a responsibility to teach my children not to fear... to reach for what they really want.  I insisted for years that I didn't need anything else in my life because being a mother is all I really wanted my entire life.  I live for my children!!!  Because of my love for children, my mother created and sold thousands of a beautiful cornhusk doll entitled, "Rachel's Child."  It is of a mother swinging a child around in the air just as I would do.

Reaching higher includes using my talents to teach and uplift my children.  I understand that many of my talents were given to me for the purpose of creating a more beautiful home spiritually, physically, and emotionally. I continue to remember that being a wife and a mother exceeds in importance.  They are my treasures in heaven.  However, God needs women of strength... of influence... in every aspect of life!!  I am coming to realize that God is capable of expanding our influence if we choose to let HIM direct our paths.  

Miracles happen when we choose to let God direct our paths in whatever aspect of life we choose.  Once we decide to believe in our dreams, Satan is going to try to stop that forward momentum, and he's good at discouraging us in a very personal way by exposing our greatest weaknesses.  I let his ugly influence into my heart last night, and I cried a lot.  I decided it was easier to not believe in anything... easier to just keep living my everyday life without hoping for more- because then I wouldn't ever be disappointed, right?  WRONG!!!

Jackson and Tyson both auditioned for a play this week.  They both wanted a part so badly.  They rehearsed more than I've ever seen kids rehearse!!  Tyson made the call-backs; Jackson did not.  It was hard for all of us to be super overjoyed for Tyson because at the same time we were sad with Jackson who was in tears.  I gave Jackson a great pep talk, and he soon recovered.  I would never encourage him to stop trying.  Jackson tells marvelous stories and puts on amazing plays for his brothers and sisters.  I would never encourage him to just keep his acting talents within the walls of the home.

I didn't see it for what it was last night... that I needed a pep talk.  I slept on the couch thinking that I would eventually feel the words come to me of what I needed to write.  They never came.  I woke up several times throughout the night to look at the blank computer screen... still nothing came.  Abe woke up and found me on the couch.  I cried again trying to identify what was happening to me.  He told me over and over again that I had fear.  I shut his wisdom down over and over again because I didn't think I had fear!!  I thought I was just being more realistic in my goals.  I rationalized that if I just live day to day doing my best, I will never feel disappointment for not achieving my higher goals.  I know that's not right- but I had already let fear enter my heart, so I was weak enough to believe any lie Satan was feeding my spirit.

I still couldn't shake the feeling this morning, so I decided to read the scriptures.  I honestly didn't feel inspired about the specific words I was reading... I thought I was just reading about wars, etc.  In reading, although the words weren't absorbing into my mind yet, I felt my spirit soften.  I felt my true self slowly returning... Just now, I returned to the place where I had read.  It's quite amazing because I honestly didn't notice these words before, but these are the words that were actually underlined in my scriptures:

"...according to the spirit which they listed to obey"  Of course!!  Which spirit am I deciding to obey?  ...the spirit that tells me to let go of dreams and accept mediocrity?... or the spirit that tells me to reach higher?

I remember President Hinkley gave an inspiring talk while I was in college encouraging us to reach higher:

“Mediocrity will never do. You are capable of 

something better.”  

After hearing these words from President Hinkley, I remember physically adjusting in my seat to sit taller, and I sit taller now remembering that God wants something better of us.  Let me clarify, "something higher," and "something better" does not mean the same for everyone.  It means believing in bettering ourselves whether in the home or out of the home, spiritually, physically, or emotionally.  Satan didn't tempt me to do really bad things, but he tempted me with the easiness of the way of believing in mediocrity.  After a pep talk from my husband and a pep talk from the scriptures, I decided to write.  

... but not until Abe made me watch my favorite video...


I cried again... believed again... and wrote what came into my heart.  I am always learning and always trying to remember to push away the discouraging spirit and do whatever it takes to BELIEVE and welcome the Holy Ghost who desires eternal happiness for all of God's children.  We have a choice as to who we will obey.

4 comments:

  1. I have never seen that video before, and it was just what i needed today!!!
    I'm so glad that you have an encouraging husband and that we all have such an encouraging older brother in Christ. I've been stuck recently in the mire of fear...fear of what will happen if i open my heart completely, or apply for a better (but unknown) job. Thanks for the slight push to be better and to reach higher today!

    Andrea
    andreanjace.blogspot.com

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    1. Isn't that kid so cute? We watch him often around here, and every time he makes me happy. I also LOVED your reminder that we ALL have an encouraging older brother in Christ because I know that not everybody has an encouraging husband. Thank you! God bless you as you crush those fears!! :-) Thank you for your comment.

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  2. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!!??? This is the EXACT way that I have been feeling this past week!!! I literally wrote my own thoughts on this on my blog last night and didn't post until this morning because I wanted to add my testimony. So after I posted my blog I come here and read this!!!??? AMAZING!!!! Wow! I mean we so oftne feel that we are alone in our doubts and fears and struggles and this just helps me to remember that I need to reach out more. I am wired to not let it out - don't let it show, but IT DOES. Boy, I needed the pep talk to myself that I wrote on the blog (becasue isn't that what they are sometimes?), and then I ABSOLUTELY needed to read your words here - OUTSTANDING insight!!! And, I really needed to watch that video again. Loved it! Thank you so much for sharing your moments of weakness with us. We truly do learn from you.
    And to your awesome husband who is so uplifting and encouraging...I'm sending him a "Hallelujah" because husband who are so understanding are rare. I happen to have one and believe me, I use it! Poor guy. Now, I have to buy him something. :o)
    Glad you are doing better and I am excited for you to reach your greatest heights!

    Un fuerte abrazo desde lejos!

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    1. After reading your comment I went straight to your blog. It was beautifully written and very real... especially since our emotions were very similar! I believe that's even more of a testimonial that Satan is fighting against those trying to do good in this world. Sounds like your husband needs a "Hallelujah" as well. I didn't think about buying my husband something- lol! I just might do that- although just seeing me "snap out of it" is a great reward/relief in itself. :-) Gracias por tu comentario y tus pensamientos! Me encanta tu modo de pensar. Buenas suerte con tus metas. Estoy agradecida con podamos ofrecer apollo uno a otro desde lejos.

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Thank you for your comments! As you prepare your words, please remember that I am a real person with a real family. Choose your words kindly and lovingly.