Yesterday, my 3 older boys were sent downstairs to the cold-storage food room to look for a jar of Almond Butter. They looked so intensely that Jordan (my 7 yr. old) decided to even climb on top of the refrigerator! (I'm still not completely convinced he thought the Almond Butter was up there. He is a self-proclaimed monkey.)
No Almond Butter was on top of the refrigerator; but when Tyson found Jordan up there, he decided to playfully yank him down. Of course as they both tumbled to the ground, something was bound to break.
I was oblivious to the happenings deep in the basement; but moments after I had sent them downstairs, Tyson and Jordan walked slowly up the stairs. They entered the kitchen with their heads down and presented the crumbled pieces of my favorite platter. They were so sorry because they knew I loved that platter. It was the platter I took to every event. It could be both elegant and casual at the same time. Sure I bought it at a garage sale, but it was a great find. I wouldn't be able to find another one like it.
I was so upset; I hardly said anything to them... that's how bad it was!! I told them they were going to have to talk to their father about it when he came home.
Now let me clarify... in my mind, if breaking this platter were truly just an accident, I wouldn't have been upset with them at all. I would have been sad for the loss of the platter, but I understand that accidents happen. All I could think was that these boys were being rambunctious, and that is why it broke!
I called Abe and told him about Jordan scaling the fridge, and then he interrupted me and said, "Oh no! They broke the crystal!" Not even really paying attention to his comment, I said, "They broke my favorite platter!" Abe was very understanding of my sadness and promised to discipline the boys when he got home.
The boys were worried all night. I forgave them, but I was still frustrated at their need to wrestle around so much. (Most boys that I've seen naturally love to wrestle; and as a mom, I'm trying to accept that as part of their nature.)
Tonight I made 4 sheet cakes: 2 for a baptism and 2 for Jackson's all-day wrestling tournament the next day. I would have liked to have used my special platter, but it was obviously gone. When I entered the food room to try to find a different platter, I realized what had really happened the night before.
On the floor were many more remaining pieces of my shattered platter. Then, I noticed that the pieces were all around my very most beautiful and sentimental piece of crystal. It was a cake stand with an ornate top, and it was also a punch bowl when you turned it upside down. I had wanted one like it for years, and my mother had just given it to me a few months ago. This was way more valuable and way more meaningful than my platter. I thought to myself, "Wow! I can't believe this didn't break! They crashed right on top of it. Why didn't it break?"
Then, a soft voice entered my head and said, "I kept that safe for you... I knew it was even more important to you than the platter."
I had been so worried about making sure my boys' careless behavior received the proper discipline that I didn't take a moment to notice what God had done for me. Actually, my own behavior was quite careless. If my platters and crystal were really that special to me, I should have known better and placed them in a safer location.
I began to think about all the times I am quick to judge my children's behavior when I am at fault of the same thing.
Just yesterday, Abe came home to a kitchen floor full of remnants from our taco salad feast. I was in the process of telling him how messy the kids had been making their tacos when Abe began to laugh at me. There I was dropping tomatoes and lettuce all over the floor while accusing the little ones of the entire mess.
I discovered 2 miracles tonight:
Even though my platter broke, God kept my crystal safe. I'm so grateful HE did. That shift in perspective made all the difference in the world.
The other miracle is that he taught me to be more thoughtful of my own imperfections as I discipline my young children. That doesn't mean I don't discipline them for their misbehavior just because I make mistakes too. It means that I have more compassion and more quickly on their little sorrowful hearts. It means that I trust their intentions more just as I would like my good intentions to be trusted by my Heavenly Father.
{This picture is merely a demonstration. Everyone is smiling sweetly for the picture... except for 2 children... Oh yes! It's obvious which 2 children were the ones who got into trouble today for their rambunctious behavior. By the way, I do love the excitement they add to the home.}
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